Here it is point-blank: Unless you take that first step to create your change now, there's a strong chance you will always find a reason to postpone taking it. Think about it. How many times have you considered making real positive change, but something always came up and prevented it from happening? We all know in our heart of hearts that one critical change that if we were to make would dramatically change our life for the better, but in fear of losing our attachment to the past, we create all kinds of reasons as to why we should delay our change. If you think about it, this is really f**ked up thinking but yet we all do it at some point in our life! Life is supposed to be good for you, and if you don't make the decision to change your life for the better, the universe will make it for you. Don't wait until your life has hit rock bottom, leaving you no choice but to make your necessary change. Save yourself pain. Save your dignity. Take the first step in making your change today - it doesn't have to be as overwhelming as you think.
To get you started, so you can make today DAY 1, consider the following;
Consider the pros and cons. Make a list of everything that will happen as a result of your making your change. Be honest with yourself. Leave nothing out. Then, using your list of all the positives that would result from your change, create a list and entitle it, "I Choose ..." Post this list in a visible place so that it serves as a reminder of your future now. For example, when I decided to walk away from a relationship in which I was undervalued, my "I Choose ..." list contained "Happiness. Health. Family. Care-Free Living. Personal Power. Self-Respect. Self-Love, Freedom. Non-Judgement. Blame-Free Living. Fun-Loving. Easy-going. Living Lightly. Inner Peace. Relaxation. Normalcy. Unlimited Potential. Endless Opportunities." Anytime I needed an extra supply of motivation in following through with my change, my list reminded me of everything I would gain and kept me on my forward track.
Identify the fear behind your making the change. Most of us hold onto something that actually brings us pain and suffering, like an unhealthy relationship, a dead-end job, or even a few extra pounds because we are afraid of the unknown. Even though what we know may not be what we want, we have allowed it to define who we are, and in that, we find comfort. Here's the thing. Often our greatest fear points to our greatest opportunity for happiness and fulfillment, so for us to ignore it is to consciously choose to settle and stay miserable. Pretty crazy if you think about it.
So, how do we downplay our fear so we become empowered to make the change we are desperately craving? It's always helpful to write down what you think would happened if you were to make your change; thus, forcing you to face your fear. Write out the events, how each one would occur, and how you would respond. You'll find that in doing so, you'll be more apt to handle what will transpire, helping you create a strategy to help you persevere through your transition to change. Also, you'll find that when you read back that which you have written, it won't appear to be as scary as you have been imagining it to be. There is something to be said about seeing it on paper versus imagining it in your head.
As a final note on fear, if you are able to put some space between you and your situation, you may find that what you may actually fear may already be in the process of happening, giving you actually nothing to lose in your moving forward. For example, many people choose to stay in a dysfunctional relationship because they fear being not being loved, but in actuality, their dysfunctional relationship is preventing them from being loved the way they deserve - giving them nothing to lose, but everything to gain they find the courage to change the relationship. Interesting? Absolutely!
Peace,
Carolyn