It is ironic that as soon as we decide to make real positive change in our lives, our Ego gets activated and starts to feed us an internal stream of negative dialogue as to why we should put off making the change. Because it's the nature of our Ego to make sure that we stay miserable, it will often downplay the importance of any positive change we want to make in our lives, which causes us to create an excuse not to follow through with implementing our desired change. It is at this point that you need to meet your Ego head-on and proactively do things that will keep you motivated and empowered. As a way to help you stay empowered during your journey of self improvement, you need to be your own strongest advocate. Luckily, there are specific things that you can do to help you stay motivated to create the change you desire.
- Be your own best friend. I am using the idea of a best friend because we usually speak more positively & gently to someone we care about then we do to ourselves. Also, when I say, "Be your own best friend," I am not being negative nor am I implying that people will eventually let you down or that the world is a dangerous place. I am simply stating that when you're going toe to toe with your Ego, you need to take responsibility for empowering yourself to be motivated, rather than relying on other people. Of course, your true friends will be supportive of you but let's face it, it's not their job to keep your motivation in check. It's yours. To ensure your own empowerment, you need to take full responsibility for your own growth, and it will end up making you stronger in the end.
- Start having frequent conversations with yourself, using positive and inspiring words. You can start by making this a daily habit by talking to yourself after the alarm goes off, when you are getting ready, as soon as you get into your car, or whenever you find yourself in a situation where you are alone. Tell yourself everything that you would say to someone you deeply love, who needed your full love and support. Speak loudly and clearly and tell yourself things that will make you smile. Tell yourself that you're beautiful and that you're doing a great job! If you've never tried it, it is actually quite fun and will make you feel super-empowered!
- Accept yourself rather than punish yourself. All too often we are quick to point out our flaws and remind ourselves of all the things we need to improve upon. This type of negative internal dialogue is coming from our Ego and needs to be stopped right away; otherwise, it will prevent us in creating positive change. One way to accept yourself is to send love and gratitude to every part of you, especially those parts of which you are not especially fond. You can do this by simply placing your hand on your heart with a strong intention of sending it complete unconditional love and gratitude. You can also tell your body how grateful you are for doing all that it does for you while whispering, "I love you" over and over. This practice is a wonderful gift that you can give to yourself and all of your billions of cells who have been dedicating their entire existence to your well-being.
- Evaluate your connections with others. Because energy is contagious, you need to surround yourself with only positive people; otherwise, you put yourself in jeopardy of becoming negative, setting you up to fail in your quest to make change. Also, if there are people in your life who make you feel "less than" or unworthy, you need to separate yourself from them as soon as possible. If you maintain connections with people who reinforce a feeling of unworthiness within you, you will lose the power and strength to make any positive change permanent. If you choose to separate yourself from a negative connection, send them love and be grateful for having shown you that you are in fact valuable and worthy.
- Make new connections with people that reflect the change that you desire. We all have heard the saying, Show me your friends and I'll show you your future, and it is especially true for people who are seeking to improve their lives. New relationships can help us bridge the path between our old way of being with the new way we desire. With this being the case, create new connections by going to places where your like-minded people go. It is motivating to surround yourself with people who value what you value, and these people should make you feel worthy. Even if you're shy, you can still grab a book and go to a park, your local Starbucks, or any place that would put you in contact with positive people the possess the change that you are looking to make. If you need ideas as to where you can meet people with your similar interests, try searching which MeetUps are offered in your area, and if there aren't any, you could always create one.
- Set goals for yourself. Setting goals is wonderful because it will help keep you motivated. Make sure your goals are visible and measurable, meaning don't just say you want save money, but state the exact amount that you want to save and the specific date that you want to save it by. Be as specific as you can and use the power of visualization to help you feel as if you already have achieved your goal. Vision boards are great to help create and maintain your motivation because they build excitement around your goal.
- Be good to yourself. When you start taking care of yourself, you are showing yourself that you are worthy and valuable, which will help keep you empowered while making change. You can do this by eating healthy foods, engaging in positive activities that make you feel good, being physically active, dedicating time to doing things that make you happy, and if you haven't done so already, start enjoying your own company. As far as doing things that are positive that make you feel good, performing random acts of kindness will always make you feel good, not to mention it contributes to the goodness in our world.
Of course, there are other things that you can do to help you stay motivated, but when you are already dedicating time creating real change, simplicity is best. Also, a short list is easier to remember, making it more likely that you will stick to it.
Peace,
Carolyn